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by eiedma

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1.
eiedma eiedma eiedma eiedma (eiedma) eiedma?
2.
busy 02:34
can't seem to sense any thrills can't seem to feel all the feels can't seem to know what it means can't seem to find the time for this 'cuz i'm busy bitch, i'm busy grinding my teeth monday to sunday every week 'cuz i'm busy bitch, i'm busy there's more and more 'to do' although there's plenty in 'completed' 'cuz i'm busy bitch, i'm busy hold up jump to the next one when i'm done i jump to the next one now i'm done and i jump to the next my body hurts, i don't know what is sleep 'cuz i'm busy bitch, i'm busy i forgot who are my friends and family bitch, i'm busy when i'm done i jump to the next one i'll see you later bitch, i'm busy don't be a hater it's not that easy (hold up, hold up) let me get my let me check my let me stop by have to go, bye ;* let me get my let me check my let me stop by now i have to go i'll see you never bitch, i'm busy talk to you never bitch, i'm busy today i'm busy tomorrow i'm busy weekend i'm busy next week i'm busy next month i'm busy next year i'm busy i'm always busy they call me busy
3.
jamesbond 02:37
proving myself seems to be my profession i'm tired of walking on eggshels for some validation taking my space is a fight that is never complete even where the space should be free i'm justified if i'm always performing but there's no interest in conforming it's crazy ;P what i had to go through to make you see that i'm the same as you where i'm going, it's up to me i love everything i can be i've seen different places, i've done different things i've tried different faces, not all of them stick going through phases, finding my own thing i will never be sorry for growing where i'm going is up to me, i'm not lost, i'm missing nothing i'm playing with everything i'm fucking around but i don't think i'm joking
4.
away 02:38
one two what can i do i'm running around, but i can't see through one two how can i trust you the visions are falling apart as i turn to look at them, to explore, to devour the world is shrinking hour by hour i'm clinging to what i think is true nothing to be found, i think i'm the fool again and i'm yearning and i'm touching and i'm burning now i'm running one two what's happening to my eyes, my legs, my throat i'm looking for my own thoughts and my own pains but they seem to have run away i'm one, you too, not something special still, i'm feeling all of this pressure i'm making myself less than one i'm half or quarter or i can be anyone in myself i'm hiding from you in myself i'm asking what's true in myself i'm hiding from truth in myself i'm asking what's you don't touch me, i'm scared i'm no longer here every second i get smalller every breath the walls get taller can't see the sun, i can't hear my own voice i'm vanishing, did i have a choice don't touch me, i'm scared my mind and my body tell me to run away but i stay
5.
žmogus 01:57
žmogus yra gyvūnas jam skauda, jis sako aaaa žmogus yra gyvūnas jis pyksta, jis sako aaaa žmogus yra gyvūnas jam liūdna jis sako aaaa žmogus yra gyvūnas jam baisi nežinia žmogus yra gyvūnas jis džiaugiasi, jis sako aaaa žmogus yra gyvūnas jis verkia, jis sako aaaa žmogus yra gyvūnas jis myli jis sako aaaa žmogus yra gyvūnas kartais jo galvoj tuštuma žmogus yra gyvūnas jis stebisi, jis sako aaaa žmogus yra gyvūnas jis trokšta, jis sako aaaa žmogus yra gyvūnas jis mąsto jis sako aaaa žmogus yra gyvūnas nežino kas yra dvasia jam noris drąsos jam noris šilumos jam noris paguodos jam noris, jam trūksta, jis trokšta, padūsta žmogus yra gyvūnas kartais užkliūva aaaaaa jo ego miršta jo mintys miršta jo siela miršta žmogus miršta
6.
nenoriu rašyt, nenoriu paišyt nenoriu iš viso nieko daryt karantinas buvo zajbys galėčiau niekada iš namų neišlįst o dabar vėl viskas blogai bet kažkada tikrai bus okei žiūrėsiu į sieną, užmigsiu ir vėl sapnuosiu kažką keisto ir nežinosiu kodėl ACAB
7.
doublecheck 03:08
my door is unlocked and my house is on fire i keep my fingers crossed but my mind is going wild i'm working on myself and i know how to control my body and my soul in many incidences; consequences of this running, burning out, they're catching up my brain is empty yet it's full and now it's blowing up double check, triple check, quadruple check how many times do i really have to check? i'm on a run yea i'm on a verge yea this whole mess is so absurd yea my door is unlocked, i don't know where are my keys i left the gas on, the house will burn because of me i keep my fingers crossed, my memories are lost the movies are playing today at no cost everything's fine everything's terrible everything's important yet everything's forgettable i swear i know no thing i keep coming back to this one thing there ain't no fuss, oh don't be ridiculous there ain't no fuss there's nothing ominous i find myself living in my own suspicion even though i know myself enough to live off intuition unreliable, deniable is every memory no boundaries, they are running free how can i trust myself? i'm never learning instead i'm running i cannot trust myself my head is hurting my thoughts are running
8.
weird men in the music scene they really like me they wanna sing with me oh i wish you weren't so weird i wish that i could make it clear i don't want you around pls get lost and don't be found!! they're always guiding me they think they're helping me i wish you would leave me alone i wish you would've stayed home i don't want you around please get lost and don't be found they don't believe me they tell me what is me when i'm there before the show they talk when i'm playing at the show they talk when i'm there after the show they talk whenever i have things to show they talk they want me to be their mother, sister, daughter, lover weird men in the music scene think they can touch me, they want to want to fuck me
9.
sugar 02:32
when everything is so okay it hurts my brain to think about what's changed and what's the same, what could have happened - it drives me insane i struggle everyday to find words and my own way i'm repeating i'm okay this is all i can display i'm not looking for myself i'm looking for some help to understand what am i feeling now i'm not looking for myself i'm looking for some help to find a way out of what i'm feeling now sugar, it sticks to me the hidden additive addictive yet unseen so sweet and then so mean i'm just trying to treat myself well but i'm lying when i tell i'm better it's all over me it's impossible to get away sugar, it sticks to me but i'm sour you don't know yet but i have all this power you will never know why i found you so sweet you will never see why you were so mean everyday i collect what i've exchanged just to keep my name engraved what a mess, what happened to my brain? all i'm saying's you're all over my head
10.
alio 02:45
tu manrods apsimeti, kad kažką čia supranti, šypsaisi ir linksi, nors nieko nerauki ir tu manrods nesupranti ką turiu aš omeny, kita kalba kalbi, nevyksta niekas čia, alio man trūkinėja ryšio nebėra garsas per lievas jau biškį gėda atsiprašau, gal galėtumei greičiau kad suprasčiau kam švaistau šitą laiką, kurį galėjau leist prasmingiau liko žodžiai, nėr prasmės tai geriau gal patylėt? liko žmonės, nėr minties tai geriau gal patylėt? nesusikalbam ir kas dabar? bandom kažką dar spaust ar jau gana? šitas pokalbis turėjo būt tyla turi dar klausimų - taip, ne, niekada?
11.
späti 03:17
i went to a späti and i saw god she asked me what i wanted and i said love she said if you wanna get it you gotta forget it if you wanna get it you gotta let it go baby, i wanna see the way you look at me baby, i wanna hear the way you talk to me baby, i wanna see you all around me baby, i wanna see you walk away from me if i wanna get it i gotta forget it if i wanna get it i gotta let it go oh no i went to a späti and i saw love she asked me what i wanted and i said none of it, not anymore i wanna get it but i don't wanna forget it now i don't wanna get it and i wanna forget, i want all i want none i regret when it's done all i want is for good things to happen but they turn into shit and then i'm tumbling back down i deserve some good things to happen i deserve some good things to happen i went to a späti and i saw god i asked her what she wanted she said fuck off i said if you wanna get it you gotta forget it if you wanna get it you gotta let it go baby, i wanna see you give it all to me baby, i wanna see what belongs to me baby, i wanna see myself smiling at me baby i wanna see me have it all i don't wanna get it, i wanna forget it i don't wanna get it, i wanna let it go when i get it, i will regret it when i get it, i will let it go
12.
i'm cutting my hair and i'm gettin' back up i'm doing my nails and i'm gettin' back up i'm getting shit done and i'm getting back up i was down, now i'm getting back up i read and i write and i'm gettin' back up i'm creating again and i'm gettin' back up i sing and i dance and i'm getting back up i was down, now i'm getting back up i'm meeting my friends and i'm gettin' back up i'm making plans and i'm gettin' back up i'm going out and i'm getting back up i was down, now i'm getting back up i was down, now i'm getting back up i was down, now i'm getting back up i was down, now i'm getting back up as long as i have me i will always get up
13.
negerai 02:31
ir be didelio rašto vis lendu iš krašto vieni save stabdys, eiedma pavarys eini - negerai neini - negerai tyli - negerai rėki - negerai atvira - negerai užsidarius - negerai juokies - negerai rimta - negerai save paslėpt galiu, kad tau būtų maloniau save užčiaupt galiu, kad miegotum tu ramiau neegzistuot galiu, kad paaiškintum lengviau oi, kaip norėtum, žinau, kad norėtum kažką darai gerai, jei kažkam nepatogu? yra dalykų, kurių rinktis negaliu visada per daug, nuolat už ribų kokia prasmė būti atsargiu? vaikštant ant pirštų galų save ir tave kankinu nenoriu dingt iš akių nors kažkam tai būtų džiugu aš vienaip - negerai aš kitaip - negerai aš visaip - negerai aš niekaip - negerai aš visa negerai o ne, ir vėl negerai aš kieta aš kreiva aš graži aš stipri

about

album about happiness. first one.

credits

released November 22, 2022

saxophone in 'busy' and 'weird men': Danielius Pancerovas
1/2 of the choir in 'foo': Evaldas Alekna

cover: panabagybe, which is also me, thank you.
recorded, mixed, etc by eiedma
written in 2022

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eiedma Brussels, Belgium

self-created self-produced self-centered

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